Professor R. J. Lupin

Have you ever heard someone say, "With practice, it will get easier." Well, I'm here to tell you that this, on occasion, is a flagrant LIE. Not everything gets easier. Sometimes it gets harder.

I was talking with my dad about this, and he agrees. He passes out every time he gets a shot or too freaked out about a hospital. I had a doctor's appointment on monday, which was just a talk-to (though it was still in a hospital) and we were both panicking. It was really funny.

But anyway, he says he passes out still, after years of this happening. He says it is NOT easier, because instead he knows what is coming and so he still panics. I think, for me at least, it is the fear of what you know is coming, and what usually happens, than what is actually going to happen at the moment. The fear gets out of control, and so it becomes harder. The only solution I have is to either avoid it as much as you can (my usual solution) or, keep trying. Even if I fail several times, as long as I never completely give up, it's okay. Even if I can't do it today, I'll do it tomorrow. I know that, which helps with the fear. I take one day at a time, and I keep working at it. Some days are better than others, but the good thing about bad days is that you start over tomorrow, and it will be okay (This unfortunately means that if you have a good day, it means nothing for the next day and you have to start over again, but that's okay too.)

I heard a really cool quote from one of my anime shows, and it said, "Don't look down. If you have something you must do, just look ahead." I really liked it. It was direct and to the point.

So anyway, I met with my doctor earlier this week, and it turns out I lost four pounds. This was in a month. And no, I was not dieting, nor am I anorexic or bulemic, so I was kind of surprised. My doctor was like, "So, you lost some weight. How did that happen?" I wanted to be like, I don't know, you're the doctor, but I figure I should be nice to him since he does treat me. He also informed me that I should be on iron stuff, since my red blood cells are small, which a sign preceeding anemia. I wish, you know, the hospital could have told me this when I got my blood test results back, but no, it's not like they could figure it out. So helpful going to these people when they don't know what they're doing.

Apparently Julie Andrews is coming to do a women's health forum at my hospital in september. This is depressing, as tickets are free and I would have loved to go see her, but I'll be at school then. I'm trying to convince my mom to go instead, as that would be the coolest thing ever.

Only like 8 days until we go to STL, and then it's out to school!!!! It's all exciting.

P.S.-Ali, I'll write you in my subject when we've continued our story. **)